Sunday, June 12, 2011

UN Humanitarian Mission Reaches Yerbouti

Wacca Jawacca:  Reports indicate that a promised United Nations Humanitarian Mission to Yerbouti has reached the border and is now entering the country from neighboring Ipekakya.  This assistance will allow more people to be fed so that they can get the country's crops in the ground, thus restoring what little of its economy there is in as little time as possible. 
UN convoy entering Yerbouti

The United Nations had also sent the Hospital Ship Safety to Yerbouti's assistance.  The ship had to turn back, however, when it was unfortunately discovered that Yerbouti is a land-locked country.

The Safety enroute to Yerbouti

"We honestly had no idea Yerbouti had no port," Dr. Albert de Fromage was heard to comment.  UN officials offered their regrets and promised redoubled efforts to get additional assistance to the country in a timely fashion. 

In other news, General Aygotcha is advancing diplomatic discussions with the African Nation of Bongolesia, the Sultanate of Ifat, and Nova Caledonia de Coahuila y Tejas, three of the many nations that immediately welcomed Yerbouti back to the international spotlight.  The general indicated his willingness to open trade negotiations if the countries are willing and is preparing to meet personally with His Excellency, President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah and other ministers of the African Nation of Bongolesia as soon as His Excellency is able to free some time from dealing with the economic and financial crisis which is looming over his country.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Yerbouti is Now Open for Business

Wacca Jawacca: The Democratic Republic of Yerbouti, or just plain Yerbouti, is now open for business - or should we say, reopened for business.  Located in north central Africa - just south of that country where the crazy colonel himself, H'wakhy K'dhaffy, rules the roost -  the Democratic Republic of Yerbouti is finally beginning to recover from years of violent civil war that created the train wreck that is now the country's society and economy.

The multi-sided civil war was fought between various unspecified political factions, each sporting its own militia like some sort of fashion accessory, Islamic radicals (who actually do know how to accessorize), and a military divided between supporting what was the legitimate government and the various unspecified political factions.  Although the then-legit government was torn apart by the civil war, its supporting military force under the command of General Robert Charles Aygotcha - for all practical purposes and for lack of a better phrase - won the jackpot.  That is not to say that they defeated all of the opposing factions.  Oh, no.  It is simply that the good general and his men came out as 'King of the Mountain' so to speak.  With the coming of the uneasy peace, the general was named, or, rather, named himself, Interim Lord High Mucca-Mucca of the republic until formal elections can be held.  Speaking from the capital of Yerbouti, Wacca Jawacca, the general has announced that he has no interest in retaining power of the gov'mint, er, government, and only desires to return to his rightful place as kingfish of the military once more or less normal life is restored to the simple folk of Yerbouti.

In the meantime, the general has his work cut out for him, what with rebuilding the government, the military and the economy, pitiful as it was, of the destitute country.  None of these elements was any great shakes to begin with, and probably won't return to very much anytime soon.  General Aygotcha might actually do a better job of restoring government than what was in place previously.  Like all former colonies, Yerbouti's government was plagued with graft and corruption as a result of achieving indepence from its European colonizer - France - too quickly with little or no experience at self-governance.  Unlike the coastal provinces once held by the French Empire, the country maintained little to no contact with Yerbouti after its independence. 

The economy has always been based in subsistence agriculture, although they did trade agricultural products with neighboring countries for the little income they recieved.  This is one of the reasons, well, in truth the main reason, the French were so happy to be rid of it.  One of the purposes of building empires and holding colonies is to make money.  This one was a drain on the French economy and they actually couldn't wait to dump it.  Yerbouti's War of Independence is really closer to being a figment of someone's imagination than it is to being a historical event.

There was no infrastructure to speak of so there is no worry about rebuilding that.  But if the general is determined to serve his people, he might consider creating some infrastructure for them. 

Virtually all of the military's heavy equipment was destroyed in the civil war.  All that was left were small arms and uniform stocks.  With the state of the country's economy, it will be some time before they are able to rebuild the proud military they once had.  Which wasn't much, come to think of it.  Fortunately, none of their neighbors is currently a threat to Yerbouti.  Half of them are involved in their own civil wars at any given time and the other half are, like Yerbouti, too poor to be a threat.  Colonel K'dhaffy is the only possible exception and he has his hands full at the moment. 

With this, we leave you until next time.  Coming at you from Wacca Jawacca, it's 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?'