Another Mixed Week for Yerbouti

WACCA JAWACCA - With the exception of a couple of incidents this week, quiet has once again fallen over our pristine country.  In the north, gunmen are becoming more brazen in their attempts to get to food supplies.  A repeat of the previous daylight heist of food stores occurred this week along with a failed attempt to hijack a UN convoy.  The convoy was unguarded, but the gunmen were obviously beginners and simply stopped the convoy on the road rather than building a barricade to block it.  When he realized what was happening, the convoy master simply sped away from the gunmen followed by his trucks of food.  Interim President General Aygotcha was so angered by this brazenness he almost spluttered when he threatened, "Just wait until my army is once again trained and up to top notch performance.  Then we will see who gets the beans around here!"  The military commander of the UN peacekeeping force stated that perhaps his forces should occasionally accompany the food convoys for safekeeping.

We have received information this week that the CDF's Foreign Legion trainers have begun taking their trainees on patrols in the countryside to teach them real world operations and tactics.  Are these strictly training missions?  Or are they a preemptive attempt to keep control of Yerbouti's peacefulness?

With the rise in food thievery and the attendant threat of violence, Finance Minister Shomy da'Muny sadly announced that the pokah t'ship, Yerbouti's official currency, has dropped to 3/8 of an American cent in international trading.  "Now we won't be able to buy so much," he solemnly informed his countrymen.

There is good news just around the corner, however.  Trade Minister Maik'n S'toff announced today that the government is in talks with Kathy Lee Gifford to open a sweat shop in Yerbouti's capital, Wacca Jawacca.  "Soon we will have many good jobs for our people," Minister S'toff proudly told the audience.  "It will be the first factory of its kind in Yerbouti.  Or of any kind, for that matter." 

Ms. Gifford speaking with our reporter in New York City

When we caught up with Kathy Lee, she told us, "When I heard how poor the people of Yerbouti were, I knew that I had to do something to help just like I helped the people of Honduras.  And Yerbouti is even less expensive than Central America!"

This has been another enlightening installment of 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?'  coming at you from Wacca Jawacca.