Saturday, July 16, 2011

Everything's Coming Up Roses in Yerbouti

CDFY Reestablished; Economy Still Progressing - Yerbouti is in Fine Shape

N'jamma Jamma:  Life continues to improve for the residents of Yerbouti as UN convoys roll throughout the country delivering their goodies to towns and villages.  The summer crop is mostly planted and in some areas, sprouts are beginning to show their green, leafy heads above the soil.  Village women in their bright native clothing are smiling again as children run barefoot through the streets happily yelling and calling to their friends.  Little Anthony in the town of N'jamma Jamma, southeast of the capital, giggles delightedly.  Today is a good day for him.  He received a new shirt for his birthday and despite being the smallest boy in his school, he gets to be General Aygotcha, Yerbouti's interim president, as the children play civil war at recess. 


Anthony, on the left, playing General Aygotcha with an older schoolmate


In the latest news from the capital city, Wacca Jawacca, the renamed Combined Defence Forces of Yerbouti (CDF or CDFY) are again taking applications for recruits and officers.  Recruiting was temporarily suspended following the termination of the civil war hostilities while the armed forces reorganized.  Colonel Gnu Gobangbang, chief of the Combined Defense Forces until elections are held and General Aygotcha can return to his rightful place as head of the Army, told us in an interview that "serving in the Combined Armed Forces, now the Combined Defence Forces, of Yerbouti will now be a fine upstanding tradition for the young men of this great country."  There are super benefits, he added, such as learning a trade, getting paid to do something you love, or even just being clothed and fed.  Finally, he recommended that all the young men of Yerbouti "visit your local recruiting office now and sign up before we have to come to visit you.  Things will go smoother that way."

The CDF plans to split what is left of its land forces and use them as a nucleus for a presidential guard and two combined arms battalions.  It hopes to have the first of the two battalions fully trained and fielded within a couple of months, despite the lack of equipment.  Advisors and analysts suggest that this could be a very difficult proposition to achieve successfully, but Interim President General Aygotcha and Colonel Gobangbang have both brushed off nay-sayers as "rebels and opposition in sheep's clothing."  In a joint press conference, the 52-year-old General Aygotcha, who has nearly 40 years of active military service clarified that "training the Army is not the difficult part.  Arming the Army is not the difficult part, though it is expensive and will take approximately 72% of the nation's annual budget for the next three years.  Making the Army stay on the battlefield and fight rather than running away like girlie-men is the difficult part."

We would also like to congratulate former chief economist Shomy da'Muny on his elevation last week to the post of Finance Minister.  He is the latest to join President Aygotcha's cabinet and so far he is doing a bang-up job as the pokah t'ship continues to hover around 1/2 of an American cent in international trading.  "It is important to have a stable value to our national currency," Minister da'Muny explained to fellow Yerboutians.  "That way, we can continue to buy things."  He clearly has a superior grasp of economics. 

This has been yet another installment of 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?' coming at you from Wacca Jawacca. 

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