Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Kathy Lee Sweatshop Ribbon Cutting!

WACCA JAWACCA - Yes, that's right!  You read it here first!  The sweatshop built to produce the exclusive Kathy Lee line of fashions is now open and ready for business!  The day was declared a national holiday and in a rare public appearance, our esteemed President Jujubee Shakerattl'n'roll cut the ribbon this week to the cheers of an impossibly large crowd right here in the capitol of Wacca Jawacca.  Standing by his side at this wonderful event were General Robert Charles Aygotcha, chief chief of the Combined Defense Forces, and none other than the smoking hot, bodacious Kathy Lee Herself.  (And yes, we capitalized that on purpose.) 

President Shakerattl'n'roll at the grand opening of Kathy
Lee's sweatshop here in Wacca Jawacca.  Standing with
him are General Charles Robert Aygotcha in full
blingety-bling-bling-bling and none other than the
smoking hot, bodacious Kathy Lee Herself (and
yes, we capitalized that on purpose).
The president declared that this was a "great day for Yerbouti and for Yerboutians everywhere" because it demonstrated the country's "entry onto the world economic stage".  While the sweatshop will actually raise the average income of Yerbouti substantially, it will still be among the lowest GNPs in the world, even below Albania.  "Yerboutians will now have the mod-est, hip-est clothing to wear - just like the western countries," he continued.  Apparently, he did not know that the clothes are for sale in America only.  "This man is an idiot," General Aygotcha was heard to quip, shaking his head.

The workers have already been selected and began learning to sew today on the ultra modern North Korean sewing machines purchased at a discount for the sweatshop.  In a brief tour of the sweatshop this morning, our reporters got to see the workers in action.  Kathy Lee is producing some strange things for sale in America.  Perhaps they are for display at the Paris fashion show.

In other news, things appear to be heating up in the north with sporadic violence being reported.  When we find out why, we'll tell you.

This has been another stellar day for 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?'.  Y'all come back now, hear?

Thursday, May 3, 2012

UN Trucks Found!

WACCA JAWACCA - An exclusive photograph obtained by WHiY? indicates that the United Nations trucks hijacked by masked, armed men have been located in the desert wastes. 

We aren't sure why the photo was taken from above.  We have very few aircraft in the country and such methods of photography are unheard of here.  Authorities asked us to withhold publication of the photo pending the actual location of the vehicles.  Once the trucks were located by authorities, they were found to be empty and deserted.  A partial set of tire tracks showed that the drivers of the trucks were taken back to wherever they came from and the trucks abandoned.

In other news, the Kathy Lee sweatshop is ready to open.  The grand opening was delayed while engineers figured out how to guarantee a steady supply of electricity to the modern sewing machines installed in the factory.  The ribbon cutting ceremony is scheduled for early next week.  WHiY? will, of course, carry the exclusive story when as soon as the event occurs.

This has been 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?' with another installment from Wacca Jawacca.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Strange aircraft in Yerbouti's Skies

WACCA JAWACCA - Several days after the recent outbreak of violence in Yerbouti, witnesses have mentioned seeing strange birds in the skies - birds that flew without flapping their wings.  When we were able to obtain a picture of one, we knew instantly that is was no bird, but rather an airplane of curious design such as has never been seen in these parts previously. 

I mean, come on, who's ever heard of an airplane without a propeller?  We have even seen a few with only one wing and some of the crazy new-fangled ones with the propeller whirling around on top of it, but never one without a propeller. 

Well, Yerbouti has certainly been a jumping place lately.  What omen or portent does this new development foretell?  Only time will tell.  Coming at you from Wacca Jawacca, it's 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?'.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Explosion in B'm

WACCA JAWACCA - Thanks to another innocent bystander, we have now secured a photograph of the explosion that took place in the village of B'm a few days ago.  In this explosion, a house was levelled to the ground, but to anyone's knowledge, no one was injured in the blast.  It's significance is unknown and the incident is still being investigated by the national police. 

More news to follow as it comes along at 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?'.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Attack on UN Convoy!

WACCA JAWACCA - Details are just now trickling in of last week's attack on a UN convoy in the village of Q'Mode.  Seems some armed men jumped the convoy from the buildings bordering the roadway as the trucks rolled through the village.  One intrepid bystander even had the gumption to snap a picture, which they kindly passed on to us of the attack in motion. 

The armed men made off with several weeks worth of food for several villages.  There were approximately half a dozen men armed with AK-47s (of course), wearing green military style uniforms and headscarves involved in this attack.  If you see anyone matching this description, please contact the Combined Defense Forces at your earliest convenience.  The United Nations would also appreciate the return of its trucks as they are running short.  Thank you. 

We will report on other news as it happens.  Or when we hear about it weeks afterward.

This has been the new news and a public service announcement handily combined into one on What's Happening in Yerbouti?  

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Yerbouti is quiet no more!

WACCA JAWACCA - Everything has been quiet.  It has been so quiet, we wondered if we still existed.  It's even been quiet in that country to the north, formerly ruled by the Crazy Colonel, H'Wakhy K'Dhaffy.  But after weeks of quiet in our pristine country, Yerbouti is quiet no more!  Details are still sketchy, but it appears that violence has broken out in various parts of the country, including an attack upon a United Nations convoy carrying food to the good people of our outlying villages.  In addition, there have been reports of an explosion in the village of B'm. 

In typical knee-jerk reaction, President Jujubee Shakerattl'n'roll made a rare public appearance to demand that the Western countries responsible for this latest round of violence must leave Yerbouti in peace.  Main Man of the Armed Forces General Charles Robert Aygotcha just shook his head on hearing of the president's response. 

More news as we hear it.  Or make it up. 

Coming at you from Wacca Jawacca, this was what is 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?'.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

We're Sorry!

We here at WHiY? want to apologize for the delay in updating the latest events in Yerbouti.  Our regular correspondent was "detained" by the new government.  Something to do with highly irregular postings about the government.  And something about inconsistencies in reporting income taxes.  We will return to our regular reporting shortly.