Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Kathy Lee Sweatshop Ribbon Cutting!

WACCA JAWACCA - Yes, that's right!  You read it here first!  The sweatshop built to produce the exclusive Kathy Lee line of fashions is now open and ready for business!  The day was declared a national holiday and in a rare public appearance, our esteemed President Jujubee Shakerattl'n'roll cut the ribbon this week to the cheers of an impossibly large crowd right here in the capitol of Wacca Jawacca.  Standing by his side at this wonderful event were General Robert Charles Aygotcha, chief chief of the Combined Defense Forces, and none other than the smoking hot, bodacious Kathy Lee Herself.  (And yes, we capitalized that on purpose.) 

President Shakerattl'n'roll at the grand opening of Kathy
Lee's sweatshop here in Wacca Jawacca.  Standing with
him are General Charles Robert Aygotcha in full
blingety-bling-bling-bling and none other than the
smoking hot, bodacious Kathy Lee Herself (and
yes, we capitalized that on purpose).
The president declared that this was a "great day for Yerbouti and for Yerboutians everywhere" because it demonstrated the country's "entry onto the world economic stage".  While the sweatshop will actually raise the average income of Yerbouti substantially, it will still be among the lowest GNPs in the world, even below Albania.  "Yerboutians will now have the mod-est, hip-est clothing to wear - just like the western countries," he continued.  Apparently, he did not know that the clothes are for sale in America only.  "This man is an idiot," General Aygotcha was heard to quip, shaking his head.

The workers have already been selected and began learning to sew today on the ultra modern North Korean sewing machines purchased at a discount for the sweatshop.  In a brief tour of the sweatshop this morning, our reporters got to see the workers in action.  Kathy Lee is producing some strange things for sale in America.  Perhaps they are for display at the Paris fashion show.

In other news, things appear to be heating up in the north with sporadic violence being reported.  When we find out why, we'll tell you.

This has been another stellar day for 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?'.  Y'all come back now, hear?

Thursday, May 3, 2012

UN Trucks Found!

WACCA JAWACCA - An exclusive photograph obtained by WHiY? indicates that the United Nations trucks hijacked by masked, armed men have been located in the desert wastes. 

We aren't sure why the photo was taken from above.  We have very few aircraft in the country and such methods of photography are unheard of here.  Authorities asked us to withhold publication of the photo pending the actual location of the vehicles.  Once the trucks were located by authorities, they were found to be empty and deserted.  A partial set of tire tracks showed that the drivers of the trucks were taken back to wherever they came from and the trucks abandoned.

In other news, the Kathy Lee sweatshop is ready to open.  The grand opening was delayed while engineers figured out how to guarantee a steady supply of electricity to the modern sewing machines installed in the factory.  The ribbon cutting ceremony is scheduled for early next week.  WHiY? will, of course, carry the exclusive story when as soon as the event occurs.

This has been 'What's Happening in Yerbouti?' with another installment from Wacca Jawacca.